In My Size

Most of the time, going to the doctor while fat feels a lot like this. You come in for a specific ailment or really just for a regular check up, and all the doctor wants to speak with you about is diet and weight loss.

There’s no really easy way to combat this, and it requires a lot of emotional energy to fight back against it. Even doing research and trying to find a HAES friendly doctor doesn’t get you 100% what you want all the time. If your ailment is commonly recognized in the medical community as having weight as a factor, such as diabetes or heart disease, then the conversation is almost impossible to avoid.

There are all kinds of resources out there for helping you know what to say when confronted with this situation such as, “What kind of intervention would you prescribe for a thin patient presenting with the same symptoms?” These tools are helpful, but do require the patient to have the emotional and mental energy to deal with confronting a person of power. Many times, it’s easier just to avoid going to the doctor at all.

I feel very lucky that a recent encounter with my doctor went the way it did. I have recently had to start medical intervention for my type 2 diabetes. We were managing it with lifestyle changes alone, but suddenly, as is the way with diabetes, things changed. I mentally steeled myself for having to confront my doctor about diet and weight loss and food restriction. I’m a diet survivor and leading with that is usually helpful. To my surprise, she never mentioned weight loss or changing my diet. She asked me to try to reduce my stress, take better care of myself, and start taking medicine, which is a reasonable medical request. Most of us aren’t so lucky.

What I want you to know is that you’re not alone. It can be so hard to find a community of like-minded fat people who also refuse to discuss intentional weight loss and only want to offer support for wherever you are with your journey of fat acceptance. But they are out there. I know it is tempting to just stop seeking medical care. It is a radical act of courage. If changing doctors to find someone more HAES focused isn’t possible, see if a friend or supportive family member can come with you to give you the emotional and mental boost you might need to make it through. We’re here for you. You’re not alone.