In My Size

I go to three conventions a year, each one a different size. One is very small that I run with my best friends. It maxes out at bout 40-50 people a year and most of them have become close friends over the almost 15 years that the convention has been running. One is a small to mid-size convention, about 2,500 people, that’s been running for decades. The other is a long-running, large multifandom convention that has been getting upwards of 80,000 attendees each year for the last several years. Each convention comes with different challenges as a fat, disabled person.

The smaller conventions have fewer challenges that mostly have to do with me not overdoing it and being too tired to have fun or negotiating too-small, overcrowded hallways with a device that takes up even more space than I usually do. Then there’s Dragon Con.

It is the biggest, most exhausting con I have ever been to. This will be my 11th year going, eighth year volunteering, and second year using an assistive device. This con takes up five hotels, multiple ballrooms and meeting spaces, and is spread over four or five city blocks. At night, the lobbies of most of the hotels turn into cosplay-filled party scenes with loud music and crowds in various states of drunkeness. Which makes getting past people with any politeness almost impossible. I have used a cane to literally shove people out of the way before. I have used my elbows and my stage manager voice.

Getting around this con as an able-bodied person is a challenge, with 75,000-80,000 people all trying to get somewhere at the same time as you. When you add an assistive device, the challenge easily triples or more. Most of the hotels have one central bank of elevators with a varying number of elevator cars to transport all of those people between convention spaces. There are also a series of escalators around that are generally a quicker bet to get you from one place to another. Finally, there are plenty of available stairs.

Before I started using my rolling walker for Dragon Con, I knew where every escalator was and the fastest route between one place and another. All of that changed when I added an assistive device. Suddenly I went from worrying about how to get around on two feet to getting around on two feet and wheels. Using the stairs or escalators was out, which meant cramming my fat body and my wheels onto predictably overcrowded elevators.

The unofficial rule at Dragon Con when it comes to elevators is that if there is space, get on it. It doesn’t matter if it’s going the opposite direction of your intended destination. Go up to go down or vice versa. When you have wheels, having enough space for yourself and your device is tricky. And it’s not uncommon for people to flood into an available elevator without even realizing you’re there. The official word is to always allow people who have assistive devices, who clearly need to use elevators, on first. But over the years, i have witnessed the way in which people, wrapped up in their own needs, blithely ignore the needs of others.

Anticipating the con last year was an exercise in anxiety. I didn’t know if I’d be able to get around, if I’d be able to see and do all the things I wanted to, or if I’d have any fun. So, I was pleasantly surprised when negotiating the elevators was the least of my issues. People were incredibly kind and attentive and helpful when they saw me waiting for an elevator. More than once, people who might have originally stayed on the elevator got off and used the stairs or escalator, or let me get on before they did. One time someone even pulled their friend out of my way so I could get to an elevator before the doors closed. There were no harsh words for me, at least that I could hear. In fact, the worst part was all of the people who kept getting stuck on my brake cables or walked into my wheels, not realizing that they were there.

Fortunately, I am not shy. Especially with the shield of my volunteer badge and lanyard and my experience as a self-advocate. I have a loud voice and I’m not afraid to use it. But my experience is certainly not universal, and there have been more than a few negative stories about getting around and through con while disabled, Dragon Con or otherwise.

If you are disabled and trying to get around Dragon Con, here are my top three tips for you:

Give yourself enough time to get from one place to another. Then add some more time. It will take you longer than you think and most people are only concerned with getting to where they need to be.
Use your outside voice. People are concerned with their own needs, wondering if it’s worth standing in that four-hour line to get into that panel. Sometimes they stand in walkways and pathways while they are thinking. Using your outside voice with a polite “Excuse me!” will usually get a hole opened for you to get by.
Be as patient as you can. There are 80,000 other people around who are not thinking about you and how they are getting in your way. We are all taking up space and a little kindness and patience will go a long way to make it easier for everyone.

If you are NOT disabled and are getting around Dragon Con, here are my top three tips for you:

Let wheelchairs/walkers/assistive devices ON and OFF elevators. Scooters, walkers, wheelchairs, etc can be difficult to maneuver. We are trying really, really hard not to run any part of you over, which means you might have to give us more personal space than you would give another person.
Don’t block pathways (or bathrooms!) while taking pictures . There are 80,000 people around! You can’t stand 10 feet from your subject and expect everyone to stop moving while you precisely line up your photo. Take the photo and move on for everyone’s sake.
Keep moving through skywalks, habit trails, at the end of escalators and when you get off elevators. There is nothing worse than trying to get off an elevator and someone just stops right in front of you. Pull off to one side if you need to figure out where you are or where you need to go. But also realize that not everyone walks as quickly as you might, so move at the available pace.

Above all, just be kind to one another. You don’t know what someone might be going through, and we’re all part of the same community.