Fat and Disabled and Not Alone

This weekend I was reminded why I like going to cons and why especially a small con is a wonderful place to be. These are new friends waiting to be made and old friends that you might see once a year, and there’s few places where I feel so completely that I belong. Even in my fat, disabled body.

I’ve been going to Shore Leave regularly for well over a decade. It’s how I met my best friend in the entire world. Over the years, we’ve seen it grow, shrink, change, stay the same, and kind of everything in between. One thing that hasn’t changed, and I hope will never change, is the basic decency of the people who attend. I used my rollator (a rolling walker with a seat) for the first time at Shore Leave. Using an assistive device in a crowded place is always anxiety-producing, so I was naturally concerned about being able to get around okay. Especially in the dealer’s room, which is always packed and has pretty narrow walkways. I was afraid of having to confront annoyance or hostility as I got in people’s way with my fat body and my rollator. But all I got was understanding and accommodation. As best as people could, they tried to make room for me to get through the aisles and hallways, always apologetic if they didn’t realize they were in my way. Even when someone tripped over my wheels, they apologized to me for bumping into me instead of being upset that I was in their way.

As I looked around the con from the vantage point of my rollator seat, I realized that I was not alone. First, I was with my people. And second, there are many of us who need help and accommodation and devices to get around. We were all there for each other in some small way, through the chaos of the photo op lines and the getting in and out of doors. I know fandom spaces are not always so kind and welcoming. There are plenty of stories of people with scooters or wheelchairs or assistive devices being demeaned and vilified for getting “special treatment” or harassed because they are not perceived as “needing” a wheelchair or scooter. And I was prepared to deal with that. And I was so, so pleased that I didn’t have to.

The end result was that I had an awesome weekend with my best friends, the three I traveled there with and the other couple thousand that were around. And I got to do the things I wanted to do, mainly have my picture taken with a Star Trek icon, and two awesome humans who also happen to be pretty good actors in Star Trek: Discovery. I’m a fan, and I’m fat and disabled, and I am so, so not alone.