Fat Acceptance in Queer Spaces

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about being fat and queer and the kind of reaction I get as a fat person in queer spaces. I’ve never felt totally comfortable in queer spaces because I don’t see a lot of people who look like me. Fat queer people, and fat queer people of color, have been here all along, but we’re not represented by the few and scattered images of queer people we see portrayed in the media. In fact, most of the images I see of queer people are limited to gay men who look like Matt Bomer in Magic Mike.

Matt Bomer in White Collar.

I think we need more people to challenge the conventional wisdom of the breadth of queerness. I didn’t know who Divine was, so I was in my late 30s before I realized there was such a thing as fat drag queens. It’s one of the reasons I’m so glad that a show like Pose is around, to educate viewers about some queer history but also to focus on spaces that were actively for queer people of color. (Side note: The documentary Paris is Burning is on Netflix right now. I highly recommend it for some queer history from the mouths of the people who lived it.)

What’s interesting to me is when I contrast queer spaces with fandom spaces. I have always felt accepted by fans. Part of that is because I look like a stereotypical geek. I’m white and fat with glasses. And I see other people who look like me in those spaces. As fandom becomes more accessible, even more people are coming in. Almost everyone can now easily see someone who looks like them in fan spaces.

So, why do queer spaces still feel so narrow? It shouldn’t be a radical act for fat queer people to exist in queer spaces. We’ve been here all along.